Not so Mini rant

Ok so I go into the local supermarket to do some shopping and I am pleased by the amount of organic veg that is starting to appear in there, that is until I see that:

New/Salad potatoes- Place of origin...Israel!! Not happy about that AT all!
Regular potatoes- Place of origin...Israel Grrrrrr
Broccoli- Place of origin...Spain
Cauliflower- Place of origin...Spain
Carrots- Place of origin...Italy
Spring Onions- Place of origin...Eygpt
Tomatoes- Place of origin...Spain
Cucumber-Place of origin...Spain

So that's it so far, yes it is fantastic that they are increasing their amount of organic veg but seriously, we should be growing this stuff in this country and not shipping it in from all over the world! It's not like it's unusual veg or anything is it??
 So we can either buy food without chemicals that has been shipped a looooong way, or we eat stuff with chemicals that are grown in our own country and has less of a carbon footprint. Crazy huh?? What drives me even more insane is that we grow a bunch of veg here on the island where I live but then we ship it off and ship those same foodstuffs in from other places in the UK or from around the world. It is INSANE!!
 It kinda reminds me of the times when I have gone down to the ferry in Cowes and you are being passed by all these people who are working in Newport and you are in a line of people who are heading in the opposite direction to work in Cowes. It is nuts lol.

That's not the only thing that annoys the hell out of me when I'm shopping. I hate it when companies change their ingredients. For example the Bisto Best vegetarian gravy (and some of the other flavours) used to be gluten free but now for some weird reason they have now added wheat to the ingredients...why?? Why would you do that? It makes no sense! It was perfectly good the way it was before but now they are restricting even more people from buying and enjoying their product.

Also instore bakery bread. Most supermarkets who have an instore bakery are selling bread not suitable to people who are vegan, who have milk or egg allergies. There are only one or two that may be passable and a tiny fraction that are vegan but other than that the baking process includes milk and egg powder. Some bakers in these places when I have asked them didn't actually know what the ingredients were initially which I find disturbing, how can you be a baker and not know what you are using?? Why does bread have to have milk and egg in it anyway? I sure as hell never used to use either when I baked bread.
 Tescos and Sainsburys were very upfront about the fact that they weren't suitable for vegans and were very apologetic, Morrisons not so much and they had the baker who haad no clue. Lidl actually has a folder and you can ask to look at it and it will tell you whether it is suitable for vegetarians/vegans and whether it contains any of the main allergens. This I think is brilliant and they should be commended and there are actually a few things in the Lidl bakery that we can have as vegans so that's cool.
My daughter is the one that is Coeliac and I look at the labelled 'Gluten Free' products and I am disgusted. They are not very good for you and most of the breads aren't vegan either as they have egg in them. But along with that gf foods are high in sugar, fats and salt...and did I mention horrible??? You can eat a healthy gf diet but not really by using labelled gf foods.

Ok I have ranted enough for now. So if you think you know the foods you can eat, please check because they often change the recipes whenever they see fit. Keep vigilant, read the labels and write letters to complain, so these people know they are being idiots by messing with our foods!

The New...New Lisa

Lol as promised I have been working on a new list as I wrote about in my last blog post. So here is the new New Lisa. I will probably add to it over time but this is how it is right now.

The New Lisa:

• Will continue to meditate every day.
• Will continue to walk every day.
• Lengthen the walks that I do.
• Swim more often.
• Spend time near the sea more often.
• Works with energy every day and protect myself when needed.
• Works towards strengthening my body towards fully committing myself to daily yoga practice.
• Will continue to increase all aspects of my plant knowledge.
• Is creative every day with either writing, sewing, quilting, maing things with seaglass, holey stones, driftwood and shells, making clothes, drawing, painting, drumming, dancing, gardening, cooking and whatever else takes my fancy.
• Cooks fresh, healthy meals every day and limit my 'lazy food days' and on those days get someone else to cook instead.
• Connects with nature and its spirits every day.
• Will watch even less tv
• Will spend even less time online.
• Will drum daily
• Will dance daily
• Spend more time in my garden.
• Spend lot of time being and enjoying being a grandmother.
• Will try and curb my temper
• Will let the small things wash over me.
• Will stop apologising for being me.
• Have the confidence to perform healings my way and not how everyone says I should be doing it and perform healings more often.
• Will do my part to relaim our native ancient ancestral animist heritage.
• Regain my dreams and deepen my dreamwork.
• Will forage wildfoods more often.
• Will learn to use power tools confidently and safely.
• Will say no when I don't want to do something instead of being talked into it and immediately regretting it.
• Continue to create a beautiful and bountiful garden full of fruit, vegetables, herbs, flowers and trees.
• Take time out for me more often and not feel guilty about doing it.
• Complete things that I have started and not quit and leave it unfinished.
• Spend more time without either the cd player, radio, tv, or computer going and enjoy the peace and quiet.
• Carry on expanding my family tree (right now I have about 11833 people on my tree. I say about because a few are on there more than once!)
• Just. Be. Me.

Right so that's me, who is the new you going to be??

The New Lisa...

Wow, so this morning whilst it was raining and I couldn't get out in the garden I decided to clear out the cupboard next to my armchair. You know how it is when you get a bright idea and later live to regret it lol. Well I came across a couple of my old note pads. I don't know how long ago they were but inside one I found a page entitled 'The New Lisa' and it goes on to list all the things that the new Lisa is going to be doing...I did giggle, I'm not sure what planet I was on at the time but from some of the contents it was before I started claiming the real me back and not the Lisa that everyone else wants me to be. So here is the list...
The New Lisa:

• Meditates every day- (Well I am doing that right now so that's one thing done!
• Does yoga every day- Ummmmm still would love to but if you could tell my body that then I would really appreciate it!
• Walks every day- Another one that I do do...Yay!
• Worships the Goddess more actively- Differently would be a better word for it,  more embracing of nature, energy, spirits etc but ok.
• Celebrates the passing seasons- Yep I do this one, in my own way. Not really one for full blown rituals with a bunch of people but yep.
• Moves closer to eating totally vegan food- Am doing 
• Is creative every day- Mostly...I do do something creative each day but still not as much as I would like.
• Becomes healthier every day- Was doing ok with that until the whole nettle tea incident!
• Spends less time online- Yeah I do that too, still want to reduce that time though.
• Spends less time watching tv- I haven't achieved this but I am more picky about what I watch. I can't handle things like the news and violence is a hard thing for me to watch too.
• Is more loving towards herself- Ummmm I think I am better, but there is masses of room for improvement!
•  Learns something new every day- I started with plants and wild foods and I learn as much as I can about their uses etc.
• Learns a new activity or skill each month- Probably not that frequently but if I want to try something I will try and teach myself.
• Cooks wholesome and natural foods- another thing I was doing all the time before the nettle tea thing. Still working on getting back into it and I WILL succeed!
• Reduces use of packaged foods- See above!
• Learns to drive- Yeah yeah this is my mother speaking, it is not something that I really want to do, maybe I will eventually learn to ride a motorbike.
• Goes horseriding- Not until I lose weight! I am not going to put a horse through having me on it's back!
• Attends the Glastonbury Goddess Conference- Naaaah I don't think so. Firstly too much drama and other things I don't agree with, too many masks, too much money and it just really aint my thing.
•  Attends Priestess of Avalon training- See above and abunch of other stuff...NO!
• Makes her own beautiful clothing- Would love to and still hope to.
• Makes her own lotions, potions and creams- Not yet but still planning on it. I have done a few as gifts but that's about it.
• Is more outgoing- Hmmmm ok ummmm nope 
• Is someone who inspires others. I would hope so but not sure it's happened yet!
• Dances every day- Still aiming to do when body co-operates lol
• Doesn't care what other people think of her...yeaah ok we shall skip past that one lol.
• Is abundant in every way- Doing ok with most things so I think Im pretty lucky.

 So as you can see I have managed some but not all. Maybe I should make a new list? I shall think about that for tomorrow.

A good couple of days

Well I have started working on my meditation again. Today is my second day of a first thing in the morning and a last thing at night meditation and so far no weird and wiggy occurences! I have managed to keep in my own body and not jump into what is more than likely another me from another lifetime.

Picture by Gilbert Williams

 Yesterday was a pretty awesome day. I woke up from a 'message' dream and once I had it all gone over in my head I also realised that a question I have been sitting with for awhile had a really simple answer and that I was overthinking it. It was in regards to someone needing to know the meaning of seeing the dead body of an animal on more than one occasion. I didn't really have an idea initially and reading the things in various books didn't sit well with me, I realised after seeing the person in my dream that she needs to look at it the same way that we need to look at interpreting our dreams, in an individual way. What does the animal symbolise to her? What are the feelings that she has when seeing the animal alive? Any thoughts that come into her head? This is individual to her because only she can know what that animal means to her, no one else can.

 As I was typing a response to her (after a very straightforward but enjoyable meditation) I opened the patio windows, the sky was clear and the sky was getting lighter. Amongst all of the dawn chorus, the cows moo-ing and the sheep baa-ing I heard a cuckoo, the first one of the year. It went on for ages and was still going when I left with the pup to go out for our walk.
 On our walk I was gifted with a pristine white feather, a visit from a shrew that scurried across the lane. We also saw hares, ravens, the deers and the buzzards.

Deer photo by me-Lisa

 After that we went to the beach and collected sea glass, holey stones and driftwood sticks. The tide was right out and I was pretty much the only one on the beach, the water was lovely on my feet. The sun was shining...it was beautiful. We sat for awhile and just soaked it all in and then visited our friends crystal/ fossil shop and I bought a 'shamanic dream crystal' properly known as Lodalite. I also got a piece of blue fluorite and a small Andean opal to add to my collection. Not huge crystals but enough for the job.

Tulip photo by me-Lisa

 Today I have spent most of my time in the garden, weeding, planting things I bought with my birthday money. I bought a Gertrude Jeykll rose and some English lavenders along with a couple of different salvias. The back garden is looking beautiful right now, still have some work to do and the side garden still needs sorting ready for the veg plants to go in but Im getting there.
 There is nothing quite like being outside and working in the garden, even just sitting in the garden refills my energy levels and makes me happy. You can't be depressed in the garden, it always helps with things like that and I would encourage everyone to spend time outdoors.

Waffle Waffle Waffle

Hi lovely people,
 Well I haven't been on here at all the last few days as I have been sitting with the content of my last blog post and trying to figure out where I am going with it and what to do with it. I am not planning on wallowing in it. It comes and stays with me for a few days and then it goes and evenetually it comes back again to remind me that I still have a ways to go on my path.
 I haven't really had anything to write about these last few days, plus in those days I celebrated my 47th birthday. Some people are shocked when I am open about my age. Too damn right I'm open about it. I am proud of the age I am. There were moments when I wasn't sure that I would make it so to be at this point is great. I don't understand why people have such an issue with admitting their age, it's part of them, part of the person that they have become. It's a real thing. Are people trying to make out they are younger than they are? Gawd I dn't have the energy to waste on that kinda nonsense honestly! lol.
 Nope I am 47 and proud, and I am looking forward to my next big milestone of 50! I have never felt like a young soul in this world, I have always felt like I have been here many times before and will be here for many times to come to constantly learn new and some old lessons. I want to age disgracefully and in a way that reflects the person that I truly am, not what everyone is expecting of me. My mum says I should think about cutting my long hair short because older women don't look right with long hair! She will be waiting a long time to see me cut my hair. I have only ever had short hair once in my life as a child and I bloody hated it!

On my birthday the first of this years dog roses came out on my rambling roses in the back garden, today there are about 11 flowers showing, and next to that my small hawthorn beneath my bigger one, the bluebells are beginning to go over now and my columbines are flowering too, all different colours...stunning. The valerian is flowering also and my ladys mantle and lemon balm are getting really big. The solitary deep purple tlip is holding its own out there today in the strong winds we have right now. The elders are all flowering and Im trying to decide whether to take some, or all for making yummy stuff or wait until they berry? I want something that isn't packed full of loads of sugar.
 What else is in the garden right now? Irises, marigolds, lavenders...all flowering. My herbs are growing like crazy as are my wild geraniums. My veg plot needs a serious amount of work on as since the last lot of rain it has just gone nuts too and I will have to start putting my veg plants in soon. So far I have a whole bunch of tomatoes, including heritage ones, french beans, spaghetti and acorn squashes, green and yellow courgettes, celeriac, to name a few. Any one want to help me wrestle with my veg plot?? Lol It was worth a try!

I am kinda waffling today, not much to talk about really. Hopefully I will feel much more inspired tomorrow...who knows eh?

Well that's pretty crap!

Every so often I get an 'off time', a time when I doubt everything positive in my life. I get pulled back screaming into the past and all my previous insecurities rear their ugly heads...again.
 I then beat myself up for allowing that to happen. I don't know why it happens, is there something I'm just not 'getting'? Is there some detail I am not seeing or a path I should've taken but didn't? Or is it just me fearing the future, or fear of losing control ot myself...again?

 I have worked through so much shit from my past and I thought that I had made some headway, but then WHAM! Off I'm dragged, kicking and screaming, grasping and clawing and trying to stop that frantic backward motion, but to no avail.
 I have even got to the point of forgiveness, to all of those who have wronged me in so many ways in the past...Hmmmmmm as I wrote that last bit as happens when I am writing out my dreams, a thought popped into my head.
                       
              I am working on forgiving everyone except myself!

  How do I do that when I have dumped so much blame on myself? The guilt of  allowing things to happen (even at a young age). Yes I know that I am mostly not responsible but there are certain things, certain situations where I feel I should've defied those who were conspiring against me. My mother, the doctor and even myself. Maybe if I hadn't been so afraid then maybe, just maybe they couldn't have forced me to do something that I really didn't want to do.
   I was 17...just and it was going to be a new start. A messed up teenage doing rightm being right again. I should've kept my mouth shut for just another week or so longer but I screwed up and had control taken from me.
 The pain I experience in the base of my spine serves as a reminder of that event. I fell from the trolley whilst coming around from anaestetic and landed on the floor hard. I think it may be a pain I am holding on to, something to punish myself further. My weight problems, which at one point I thought were because of me trying to take control, but this isn't control! I am infact trying to fill a hole, a hole that is so deep, so cavernous that it could never be filled.
 I am mourning, after thirty years I am still mourning my loss and it's a loss that most people wouldn't understand, how can they? They see me as a willing participant, as someone who shouldn't have been so stupid, so careless, so reckless in the first place...that's what they say. Thats what the doctors said, that's what the women from the local Mormon church said (amongst other things) when they called at my house every day for 5 days! That's what my mum said and my dad thought as did many of my family members.

 I can never let this go, I couldn't, so how do I stop treating myself this way? How can I forgive myself? I've even forgiven my mum for the awful things she said to me, for taking everything from me and then promptly moving me out of the house straight afterwards to mourn in a strange place with people I didn't know. My only saving grace there was the fact that my ex sis in law moved in there too. She was there for me and she kept me going and kept me from falling. She kept me alive and sis, I want you to know how much you mean to me, thank you for being in my life. Love you sis xx

This is something I want to cure, something I want to solve. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to punish myself any longer but I have been doing it so long now I don't know how to stop. I have no clue how to take back control, I don't know how to fill that unfillable hole with something other than food. I don't know how to forgive myself for allowing what happened to me...But I am working on it. x

Shhhhhhhhhhhh!

Hare photo by me-Lisa

Good morning folks!
 It has been a couple of days since I last wrote anything but well it was the weekend and I had things to do.
 This morning I had my lovely early morning walk with one of my dogs, we have to be a bit careful as he's not brilliant with other dogs since he was attacked when he was younger. Sometimes I have come across a couple of women with three dogs and this morning I decided to sit on the stile and wait for them to go so we could just amble in peace.
 We were sat there quietly just chilling out and watched three hares running around like crazy, it was lovely. After about 10 mins the hares bolted across the field away from the other path and you could hear the women coming. They are always so loud you can hear them coming a mile off!
 I have chatted with them before and when I tell them what animals I have seen and taken photos of they are always surprised, they say "We haven't seen a thing"

Deer photo by me-Lisa

 Well theres a reason for that...YOU ARE TOO BLOODY LOUD!!! I haven't actually told them that to their face but gawd, they must see (hear) it surely??? No animal is going to hang around with the amount of noise they make but they are not alone, I see and hear it all the time, people go out in the countryside to walk but don't actually take in any of the countryside around them or the critters that live there!
 That's why I go extra early in the morning but these women have appearead now and ruined my 100% quiet time. I wouldn't mind so much if they were quiet and took it all in but nope, not a bit of it. I think it's sad really, all those things they are missing out on.
 As soon at the women had gone from the field the hares came out again, one leaping over the stream at the bottom, they weren't bothered by us at all as we see them nearly every day. Hares are just one of the animals I see frquently whilst out walking, I also see ravens, deers, kestrels, buzzards, foxes, badgers, a vast and varied amount of other birds. I am incredibly lucky

Raven photo by me-Lisa

Empathy for animals...food consciousness in general...ethics etc

Photo by Me-Lisa Davis

I love this time of year. It's all about birth and new beginnings. Everything is fresh and new and beautiful. I look at the fields of new born lambs around me and I can't help but smile, there is such a happiness and joy in those lambs that it is infectious.
 But in some fields where the lambs were born earlier and they are harder to spot in amongst the adults, I feel a sense of forboding. The time will soon arrive when they will need to be seperated from their mums, same as the calves and living where I do and being surrounded by both cows and sheep I dread that time. The sounds that both mother and baby make when seperated is a sound you want to wipe from your memory but I can't. I hear it day and night during that time.It goes on for what seems like forever and it is heartbreaking.
 It's different for people who are brought up on farms, many many of my ancestors were farmers and I respect the job that they did/do but they end up not noticing the sound and in a way I envy them that. I wish I could block it from mine but it's impossible.

Artwork by Aleksandr Uglanov

 I have always been an animal lover and I have always felt their pain and suffering. I never wanted to eat meat when I was a child and would refuse to eat it at primary school, so they would give me fish. Of course I wouldn't eat that either so they gave me egg, well the thought of egg would make me gag so they gave me cheese which I hated so my parents were asked to send me to school with a packed lunch. But you see when I was little my parents weren't very honest with me. They would give me things like luncheon meat or sausages and tell me they werent meat, because of course as a child to me it didn't look like meat and well you never think your parents are going to lie to you over something so important to me...I learned, the hard way.

 Eventually I was old enough to control what I put into my mouth and even though my eating habits have been pretty screwed up over the years I refused to eat animals and I was much happier. I did at one point eat cheese and egg if I didn't think about it but then I decided that I couldn't ethically eat anything that came from the dairy industry either so I became vegan and I am sooooo much happier.
 I no longer feel that pain, or their suffering each time I ate any of that stuff. I can eat with a clear conscience now and it's awesome.
 I respect if you are a meateater, that is your choice and I doubt anything that I say would change your mind anyway, but I do wish people would eat consciously, whatever they eat. Look into how your food is produced and where it comes from. What has been injected into it or sprayed onto it. Eat by the seasons rather than say strawberries in the middle of winter. Eat sensibly and when you can grow your own or support roadside and/or local businesses. learn about wild foods and what is good to eat and what's not and forage for your food.
 Reduce your packaging and reliance on packaged food when you can. Eat fresh and cook fresh!

My weird Meditation Experiences!

Ahhhhhhh meditation, this is something that I have had some real issues with in the past. What with my monkey mind that never shuts up, the fact that I am very easily distracted and lastly I have had some really trippy and sometimes a little disturbing experiences whilst meditating. I have spoke to others and no one has admitted having had an experiences like it.
  I was meditating one day and I found myself watching a scene play out in my minds eye. It seemed so real at the time. I was watching a man dragging a woman by the hair at the back of her head, she was desperately trying to get her feet under her but without much success, she was also grasping madly at the mans hands but to no avail.
 Next thing that happened was that I jumped into the body of the woman and I could feel all of it, all of her deseperation and struggle to survive and escape. The man was hurling insults at me and told me I was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it. I saw that I had long skirts on and hook boots. I had a blouse tucked into my waistband.  He dragged me through the dirt, seemed quite sandy and it was bone dry and there was some sparse vegetation but not much.
 Suddenly with great rage he threw me to the ground and held an old revolver to the top and back of my head and as he pulled the trigger I jumped out of her body and back into mine in time to see her slumped in the dirt, with a single word "Bitch" he stepped over her and walked away. I then jumped out of my meditation with a mad panic. It really did shake me up.
 Weird thing is, is that I have a mole on my head in the same position that the woman was shot.

 I have had a few experiences like this and at times I find it hard to go into deep meditation in case it happens again. It would be great to hear from others who have had weird/disturbing or just downright odd  meditation experiences?
 I have changed my settings to allow more people to comment so I hope to see something soon, thanks x

The Ups and Downs of Healing Work

Views towards home photo by me Lisa

Good morning everyone! It is a blustery day here today on this beautiful island where I live. Myself and one of my dogs Tikaani got very wet this morning when we went out on our walk, but well it was refreshing and if we weren't awake before we went out we certainly were when we got home! lol. The wind was blowing a hoolie off of the sea today and the rain was going sidewards, luckily Tikaani was sheltered most of the time due to the hedgerow.

As you may know if you have read my profile I am a healer. It isn't something that I brag about, it is just something that I am. I do not have special or magical powers that allows me to heal, no, more that I am a tool that can be used to channel healing/energy to the person in need of help. That's all that I am...a tool. Anyone can do it if they can focus, and well as you know focus for me can be a little hit and miss.
 I have learnt a few different forms of healing including Reiki but I found it confused a few things in my head and made me start doubting my previous healing experiences from when my kids were small. I would perform healings on them when they were ill or in pain and I was comfortable and it was just what I did with the help from 'The Powers That Be'. Like other parts of my life, I never felt that I had to put a label on it or that I needed training but when the chance came up a couple of years ago to learn Reiki I decided to go for it. Just before that, other experiences and comments said and ones I had read online poo pooed anyone performing healings that haven't had proper training.
 I started questioning what I had been doing and thinking that I had in some way been adversely affecting my kids with my healing. It took awhile for those feelings to go and now I am back to my own very simple form of healing and I'm happy with that. I would be quite willing to try other forms in the future but they will only enhance what I already do now, not replace it.

Lovely picture called Pathways I think and all I have on the artist is jdaelkeplinger. I did Google but came up with nothing.

Another thing I learnt was that as I have already mentioned I am just a tool, a conduit for the energy to pass through me to use in healing. I am not the one doing the actual healing. If you allow your ego to think that you are then there is a risk that you can take on some of the illness and pain from the person/s you are working with. I know it is something that I have done in the past but it was a painful lesson learned, so I'm hoping that other people can learn from my mistakes before they get that far.

Trust in your intuition, your inner voice, your instincts. If it feels right for you then it most probably is, and if it feels wrong or uncomfortable then don't go there. It's all supposed to be a positive experience. The more you practice the easier it becomes and the more at ease and confident you feel to work on people in a wider circle than just family and friends.
 There are a lot of places out there now where you can get advice, something that wasn't around when my kids were small so make use of them, they can be really helpful and supportive but again trust your instincts!

Picture by unknown artist- If you know the artist please let me know so I can give them the credit that they deserve.

Also if you are seeking healing, then some of the above advice goes too. Don't do and allow anything to be done to you that you are not comfortable with. If you feel any discomfort at any point as the person to stop. Not everyone feels happy with every form of healing, go with your gut instincts.
 Just because someone may have a big glitzy ad or anything like that it doesn't mean it is better than the less obvious and quieter ones. Friends may be able to point you in the right direction but it is what feels right for you.

Lastly DONT stop any medication or treatment without speaking to your doctor, be aware that if you are going down the root of herbal medicine, aromatherapy etc some people may be sensitive to different things and have a bad reaction. Some herbs/oils etc should be avoided by some people and they can also have an adverse affect when you are on medication so again talk to your doctor first.

Was this the beginning of my Spiritual Path?

Beautiful picture by Mark Adamus

Today I got thinking about when I was a kid...not dwelling on things but just remembering things that happened back then. I can remember when I was about 9 years old and I had been riding my bike around some land near where I lived (and my parents still do).
 This land was by the side of a river where I would play a lot, either by myself or with the other kids that I knew. We were hardly ever indoors and would be out from first thing in the morning to last thing before dinner and during the summer back out after we had eaten. We would often play in the nearby chalkpit and woodlands, fields and the old railway track and up the lanes to the downs, but my very favourite place to be was by the river. I remember taking jars over there with nets where we would catch sticklebacks and newts and then release them later. We would watch the water voles and we would paddle and swim in there too.

Picture by Gilbert Williams

   A large part of our lives were drawn to that river...I loved it and don't often get a chance to go over there any more. The roads have got so busy now, so much more traffic than there used to be when we would sit outside my parents house on the high wall and wave at the coaches full of tourists as they went past and we always got waved back.
 So this one day I had gone out on my own with my bike and decided to stop and see the horses. There was a bush nearby and as I was petting the horses I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye. It was about the size of a short adult and much rounder. It was a bright light and it shimmered. I wasn't afraid of it, infact I felt drawn to it. I sensed that it was female which as a kid you just accept, the doubting only ever comes in when you're an adult. This light was hovering just slightly off the ground behind the hedge, as I moved closer to her she came out from behind the hedge. I moved slowly around her but my eyes never left her for a moment. She was beautiful, every so often I could pick out facial features that would come and go but she was always shimmering, with the colours you see in a bubble but she was no bubble. I felt as if she spoke to me but not using words but I could understand her and I was fascinated and again, I felt completely at ease and safe.
 Then someone started towards us walking a dog and she wobbled slightly and faded away. I felt so sad that she had gone, frightened off by this other person.

 Even now after all these years I still think back to that day. I never saw anything quite like that again but I don't think that I needed to, the experience no matter how fleeting changed the way I am and paved the way for the person I was to become.
  I had quite a few different experiences when I was young and some when I was not so young. One day I was playing up the lane at the back of my parents house, it was near the house owned by Professor Milne of the seismology fame. One day I met a girl called April and we sat on the wall and chatted and we played. I asked if if she lived nearby and she said that she does, she told me her father who was a scientist had died. It was supposed to have been an accident but she told me that he had got called into the house where he worked and when he was standing in the entrance hall someone up on the landing above pushed a part of the staircase handrail on top of him and he was killed. Later on I went home and told my parents about April and they spoke to other people as I spoke to my friends and no one could shed light on April, her father or the tale that she told. Back then I never knew about John Milne and that the house that myself and April were sat on the garden wall of was his but it is another memory that sticks with me. Looking back on it now I now know that April was a spirit, the clothes that she wore were much different to mine and she seemed much different to everyone else I knew.

 These two experiences weren't the only ones that I have had during my life and I know that there are many more experiences to look forward to. When I was a child I had friends, human and animals alike that no one else could see. I have seen, felt, heard, smelled many different things associated with being in close proximity to spirits and my kids have experienced it too.
 How lucky I am to have had those experiences, I feel so blessed to be on this path that I am on and understand that it started way back when I was a child.

Making sense of my senses and other weirdnesses

Ahhhhhhhhh Beltane/ May Day! Whatever you celebrate may you have a great day!
 Today I broke the self scan machine in Sainsburys, I never wanted to use the damn thing but there was no one on the damn tills so I was forced into it, I don't like being forced in to using/doing anything so things went a bit haywire! I also fought to use my mobile phone (I don't like them either) and had to reboot it twice and then at retinal screening the brand new scanning machine decided to have a wiggy when I had been in there :/ This happens every so often, tills and card machines, computers etc can all be affected.

Art by Alice Mason

 Also I have run ins with none electrical things like metal rails, metal beds etc. I remember once when I was making a bed in a hospital I saw a bolt of electricity shoot out from the bed into my knee which then gave way beneath me!
 I must have an electric personality or something lol.
 Other weird things that have happened to me over the years are due to my high sensitivity with my senses. I remember walking into a local supermarket and standing by the freezers I could smell plastic/electrical burning. I mentioned it to a member of staff, she came over and sniffed, but she couldn't smell a thing. She went and got someone else and in the end there were a whole bunch of us stood there sniffing but I was the only one who could smell it and they began to brush me off and in the end I had no choice but to leave.
 The following day I went back in and all of the freezers were off. During the night they had electrical problems with the freezer which blew the fuse and they lost all of their frozen foods! Normally when I mention these things people ignore me and look at me like I have lost the plot only to regret that decision later on.

Blackkthorn blossom photo taken by me Lisa in my garden

Another thing is that I can feel changes in heat. Many times I have to check that I turned the cooker off because I am picking up heat from it only to find out that it's stone cold. When I am walking I feel sudden changes of heat like I have walked from a refrigerator into a heated room.
 Sounds are another 'gift' I have. I have very sensitive hearing, dog whistles are deafening to me, and I can pick up the slightest sound which can drive me crazy and can give me bad headaches. My family still think Im more than a little crazy but they know what I'm like and they have to deal with it, even when I snap at them and tell them to put the tissue down as the sound is grating on my every nerve. Also clothes can sometimes sound noisy too...I know it sounds nuts but it's real and it can be hard to deal with.
 Add to that the ability to pick up on energy and emotions and it makes my life very interesting! LOL

Photographer unknown-If you know please let me know soI can give them the credit they deserve

So anyway back to May Day/Beltane. The May Blossom is beginning to flower whilst the blackthorn blossom is beginning to go over now. The bluebells are out in force and the countryside is sprouting in colours. My elder trees are already nearly ready to flower and my apple trees are blossoming like crazy. So beautiful!
 This time of year brings back memories of my Primary school when I was a kid. We used to celebrate May Day and we had a proper May pole. I remember dressing up and having flowers in my hair and I remember dancing around the pole. I can also remember that the playground was heaving with cherry blossom, lovely pink flowers that would fall and would look like butterflies. Along with that I can remember singing traditional English songs. We seem to be losing many of our indigenous customs and beliefs, we need to bring them back.

Pink cherry blossom photo by me-Lisa taken in my garden